How to Work With Your Doctors Without Going Crazy

During my battle with vulvodynia I saw at least 25 different doctors and more than 25 alternative doctors. Many people assume that I’m against conventional doctors, I am not. Now that I am older and more experienced I learned to use the strengths of conventional medicine and alternative medicine to help me. I also learned how to navigate doctors without making myself crazy. I learned how to recognize a doctor who is harming me more than helping and how to stand up and walk out, even if that's in the middle of the appointment. Yep.

Unfortunately, by the time I mastered most of these lessons, my V battle was over. I'm hoping that this post will help those still in the trenches. To clarify, conventional medicine helped me rule out life-threatening ailments which was very very important but they did not help me heal from vulvoydynia.
 
If you have found this blog, I assume that you have seen at least 7+ doctors and specialists. If you have not seen at least 7 doctors yet, read this post, then try another doctor. Most who read this blog have seen way more than 7. It’s not a magical number but I just want to make sure you have given conventional medicine a chance to diagnose you. Personally, I didn’t hear the word vulvodynia until my 20th doctor but this was years ago. If you have not seen a specialist or enough doctors please go do so!

WORKING WITH CONVENTIONAL MEDICINE DOCTORS
We all hate seeing gynecologists. It’s the worst. I understand. For those with vulvodynia it's traumatizing and painful. So here are few tips to keep in mind during these visits. 

1. FOCUS ON YOUR GOALS
My focus was always to rule out a simple diagnosis, life threatening problems or clues.

1A. Life Threatening Problems
Your primary goal is to rule out a serious life-threatening problem like cancer. Yes, this is very scary. Deep breaths. My vagina burned like hades for years and I never had a cancer scare. I have also never coached someone who had vaginal cancer. But again, we just need to play it safe. Many of the vaginal cancer symptoms are similar to vulvodynia. Just be careful. https://www.cancer.net/cancer-types/vaginal-cancer/symptoms-and-signs 

1B. Simple Diagnosis
It would be so great if they could give you a simple prescription and it would make everything go away. This is what I was expecting when the pain started. I never found one. I have talked to so many women with the same issues and they never found a simple prescription either.  

1C. Clues to Help You Choose a Strong MM Protocol
Conventional medicine might not be able to take the pain away but THEY MIGHT HELP WHEN CHOSING A STRONG MM PROTOCOL. When coaching women it's helpful to know if they tested positive in the past for candida, herpes, traditional shingles, diabetes, strep throat or vaginal strep but I don't rely on their tests alone. I rely mostly on the actual symptoms each person is experiencing when helping them choose the foods to heal. Although sometimes it's difficult to figure out what's actually going on and therefore difficult to create a strong MM protocol. I have learned to navigate through conventional medicine to help me pick out the things that will help me.

1D. Examples From My Own Life
Story 1: Once a lymph node behind my ear became swollen. I did a bunch of MM lymphatic protocols. It didn't budge. After a week it became so painful that I couldn't sleep so I finally went into the conventional doctor's office. He looked at me for literally like 15 seconds and exclaimed "you have shingles!" Turns out that the zits on my forehead were not zits but a shingles rash. I did not mentioned them before because again, I thought they were zits. After that appointment, I switched to a MM shingles protocol and everything calmed down and healed not long after. Full disclosure: I did try their anti-viral medicine cause honestly I was just scared. That medicine promptly gave me a vaginal rash so I stopped taking it the next day. So while I was healing shingles I also had to heal the vaginal rash as well. Oh my.

Story 2: Another time when I was pregnant with my daughter, I came down with extreme exhaustion. I could barely walk up the stairs. So I focused on MM's EBV protocol, CFS protocol, adrenal protocol, neurological protocol but nothing moved my exhaustion. I had a routine blood test for other pregnant stuff and it turns out I was anemic. Once I switched to an MM anemia protocol all my energy came back and by the time I gave birth to my daughter my numbers were in the normal range.  (I repeat this story in section 5) The doctors did want me to take conventional anemia medication but that medication would have caused me to be constipated and I already know from experience that my vagina gets angry if I'm constipated.  

Side note: please review MM's work on blood draws and such. It can be dangerous for your immunity because they take more blood than they should. I just told the lab to take a minimal amount cause I've had horrible reactions to the AMOUNT of blood drawn in the past. Another option is to tell them the REAL truth... I DARE you. "Can you only take a small amount of blood because the Spirit of Compassion who in communication with a medium on TikTok told me it was really bad for us." If you do this... please take a video of their reaction. We could make a compilation!  

2. Ask for an OLDER LADY doctor. This is probably the best advice on this page. If you take anything away from this post, take this advice. Why? I would never talk to a doctor about my vagina if they didn't have a vagina themselves. I'm not gonna waste my time here explaining why... it should be obvious.

Next, younger doctors haven't seen enough patients yet. They have not experienced the huge knowledge gaps in the medical industry yet. The older doctors have already faced these large knowledge gaps and have to wrestle with the reality that they couldn't heal a good percentage of their patients. It's a rough reality to accept.

Last week, I went back to the conventional gynaecologist. I talked to the nurse over the phone to make the appointment. She first tried to book me with a nurse practitioner but I refused. Why? I told her that I seen 25 doctors when I had vulvodynia including the best specialists they could offer and they still couldn't heal me. (I like to mention vulvodynia as much as possible to medical professionals cause it makes them nervous. It's a HUGE knowledge gap in conventional medicine. Basically, I insisted that it be an MD gyno, a woman and she needed to be older.

During the appointment, I went through the basics with the gyno. I ran through my medical history of vulvodynia because I wasn't quite sure if she reviewed my chart. I explained that I had healed it years ago. Then I kept talking about the tests that I wanted done because I hadn't had a cervical screening in about 5 years. In the middle of the sentence, she stopped me and asked me to back up and explain how I healed vulvodynia. I could tell in her face that she really wanted to know and was almost shocked that I was so blase about the whole thing. (At this point I realized they she definitely read my chart. It was a brutal long battle.) I ran her through the MM basics which is crazy cause years ago conventional gynaecologists were denying that I was even experiencing pain. Times are changing. I think doctors are facing the reality that they have large holes of knowledge. 

3. Don’t let their tests categorize you into a corner. In my experience, they were always wrong. Yes, you are looking for clues to help you decide what protocol, foods, herbs you should but working with but don’t let their opinion be more than just an opinion and don't let their tests categorize you into a corner. 

3A. For example, I never tested positive for strep when my vagina burned like hades. By the time I found Anthony William, I understood that their tests were inaccurate. I followed the AW strep protocol and 95% of my burning was gone. I added a few herbs to heal shingles and the other type of burning left. Yes, I experienced two very different types of burning in my vagina and many other symptoms. 

3B. One note about herpes: if you have a rash usually they like to initially blame it on herpes (before they get the tests back). Ugh. Anthony William warns that herpes pustules don’t hurt that bad but shingles pustules hurt horribly. Again, doctors don’t know about vaginal shingles yet. Just take the information they give you and put it in your arsenal. Give yourself some time to sort it all out

4. You are not crazy. Let me repeat. YOU ARE NOT CRAZY. I can’t believe they are still saying this. I’m shocked and disheartened that I have to address the issue that doctors are telling women that the pain is in our head. IT IS NOT.  If you are told this by a doctor, I am not joking, stand up and walk out. I’m not joking. I have done this multiple times when I got older and wiser.   

• If your doctor tells you that your mind is making this up, what they are actually saying is that THEY DON’T KNOW what’s wrong with you. Not only do they not know what is wrong but they are afraid that if you are NOT making up your pain, then medical science is frighteningly inadequate and in the dark ages for this type of ailment. Remember, this is frightening because they have based their entire life and career trusting medical science. In my experience, conventional medicine was frighteningly inadequate. I know this now. This is hard for doctors to face.  
• Honestly, it’s difficult for everyone to face. That’s why we experience many people close to us deny our pain. It is frightening to know that doctors can’t heal us. They are frightened for you and themselves.
• Remember that although conventional medicine is clueless about V, they are great if you break a bone or need a heart transplant. Vulvoydnia and other chronic illnesses is their weak point.

5. Please listen to your body's intuition. I'll be talking about listening to your body's intuition in-depth in another post but for now, always trust your body. Vulvodynia was a very cruel but effective teacher who taught me how to listen to my body's intuition. It's a process to learn how to hear her, especially when you're in pain and afraid. But if she's giving you a bad feeling about a doctor or a prescription, please listen to her. I hear this every day from women I coach. We have all learned the hard way of ignoring a bad feeling and continuing on a course of action prescribed by a doctor, then being slammed again with even more pain. Again, it's a process and a skill.

6. You are not there to make friends, you have lots of friends. I found that I had to fight my inner self to NOT BE NICE ABOUT MY MEDICAL BOUNDARIES. We have been trained to be nice and compliant our WHOLE LIVES. I assumed that I would be considered the "annoying" patient and told the doctors this. When I was pregnant with my daughter and met my conventional doctor for the first time I said "look, I'm going a hard patient to work with. I was sick for a very very long time with vulvodynia and I have been injured repeatedly by doctors. So I just want to warn you that my resistance doesn't come from nowhere." They are terrified of the diagnosis 'vulvodynia' cause they are clueless about it and they know that you know they have no clue. 

a. Just remember if they want you to do things that you don't feel safe doing (for example... like taking vials and vials of blood at one time) they have no power to make you do anything. They can't call the cops. They can't force you. The worst thing they can do is pout. So let them pout away. (Removing lots of blood at one time reduces your immunity) Medical Medium: Blood Draw: Bloodletting & Vampirism

b. When I was pregnant with my daughter I had horrible fatigue and they needed to take my blood to make ensure we were OK. At the lab I refused to do more than one vial at a time and I was a bit aggressive when communicating with them that my body gets really sick NOT by the process but by the AMOUNT of blood drawn. The lab was like ok "do you think you would be fine if we just did 1/2 vials." I said sure but only a few at one time. They responded "but then you will have to come back." And I said "yes, next week."

Turns out I was anemic and I needed this diagnosis I received from the blood draw. I had tried to heal myself using MM protocols prior to this but my energy didn't return. Once I learned that it was anemia it took me 4 days to get my energy back using MM protocols... 4 days. By the time I gave birth to Chloe my numbers were within the normal range. 

c. If you have a difficult time NOT BEING NICE ABOUT YOUR MEDICAL BOUNDARIES. Imagine that you are walking into the doctors office holding the toddler version of yourself. Hold her, love her, protect her. Become the 'mother bear' that she needs you to be. What's funny is that once I became a mother I discovered my 'inner mother bear.' At times she charges forward and completely takes the rest of me by surprise. Her inner power and strength shock the rest of my being so I just let her do her thing when she feels my children need protection. Find your 'inner mother bear' to hold, protect and defend your little toddler self. Some how I found both versions of myself while healing... it's been a wild ride. 

7. I never fully really understood my condition until after I healed which is a bit backward. In conventional medicine, first they diagnose the condition because the doctors rely mostly on prescription medicine. The last thing they want to do is give you the wrong prescription and cause another ailment. But when working with food to heal you, food doesn’t cause crazy symptoms if you focus on the wrong food. I'm guessing it just heals another part of your body. 

a. Yes, this makes healing a little bit of trial and error. Follow your ailments. Let your ailments choose the foods you need to focus on. (If you don't know how to do that, read post 1, 2 and 3. Also, Life Chaning Foods by Anthony William) Let my story and the other stories of healing on this blog guide you. (Just a warning: a minority of women can experience detox reactions if they start this process too fast. So start slow, little by little ramp it up. Focusing on foods, is the best course to avoid detox reactions) 

8. When making the appointment, ask the nurse. When you call to make the appointment tell them your situation. Tell them that you need a doctor who is open to alternative healing who can work with you and that the women who have healed from your problem used ‘food therapy.’ Tell them that your other doctor appointments have been traumatic and you honestly just need someone who is just PLAIN NICE. Nurses know who the nice doctors are in their office.

9. If you find an exceptional doctor, use the term “food therapy.” Doctors can work with the term food therapy because they think fruits and vegetables have no power to heal or harm. So you can mention to your doctor that you have found other women who healed their vulvodynia using fruits and vegetables as medicine. Warning: they will nod and think it’s a wonderful idea but they will probably not believe you. That’s ok. Your vagina doesn’t need their belief to heal. (Although you'll see in section 3 that the gynaecologist asked how I healed so I told her that I used MM information. This time, maybe it's my age, but I stopped caring about what they think.)

10. Before your appointment, eat some fruit. Don't underestimate this tip. Reflecting back now I realize that I had to heal from a lot of PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) from these appointments. I’m sure if you are reading this blog then you, unfortunately, have experienced something similar. Anthony William argues that PTSD happens when someone experiences something traumatic AND doesn’t have enough glucose in the brain to calm it down. So, before your next appointment drink a smoothie or eat a bunch of fruit. No seriously.

11. Keep track of your own medical records. I was tested for herpes, chlamydia and other STDs over and over again. Instead of keeping track of my own records and arriving at a new doctor’s office with previous tests, I allowed them to test me again and again at different doctors offices. Each test was painful, each test was emotionally draining, every test was negative. If I were to tell my younger self anything, I would tell myself to arrive at each doctor’s appointment with all my medical information. This would have saved me from so many painful tests and examinations.

12. Take charge of your appointment. Do not get undressed. I will repeat. Do not get undressed. The nurse will tell you to get undressed and you tell her that you would like to talk to the doctor first. Tell them that your vagina is flaring and would rather not have an examination unless there is a good reason. This puts you in a power position. They MUST convince you to be examined which means they have to explain everything to you. So many times I was a tested for an STD when I already had that test a week prior. Just FYI… I’ve had one sexual partner in my life and he’s only had one as well which is me. Ruling out STDs (sexually transmitted disease) was hard for the doctors to accept. They always wanted to blame it on a STD.

13. Do not hesitate to ask your doctor how many women they have treated with your condition. This would have saved me so many unnecessary appointments! Even though they don’t have a cure it would be nice to know that your doctor has experienced dealing with mysterious vaginal pain.

14. Listen to what they are not telling you, it’s just as important. If you have been diagnosed with vulvodynida. Look it up. It is not a diagnosis. There is no understanding around the definition of vulvodynia. It just means vaginal pain. That’s it. They don’t know why it hurts and they don’t know how to make it better. This is a label. That’s it.

15. Beware of Doctor Ego. Usually doctors have a difficult time facing the reality that their medicine is inadequate. In some doctor appointments I would feel anger, frustration, annoyance aimed at me and I wasn’t quite sure why. Now I understand that my burning vagina was an attack at conventional medical science. They didn’t know why I was in pain and my vagina knew they didn’t know. If medical science is advanced as they like to think they are, then they should have been able to remove my pain. They couldn’t. A burning vagina doesn’t fuck around, she sees straight through their bullshit.

16. Conventional medicine might not understand V but they can help in other areas. This was the strangest experience. After I healed from V, I got pregnant with my daughter. (Warning: when I healed my vagina she also go super fertile, watch out!) So of course I had regular appointments at the obgyn. I was honestly, surprised. They actually knew about having babies! They were competent! They could answer my questions! This was honestly a new experience for me. They weren't floundering around sending me from specialist to specialist who knew nothing.

They were very careful around me because my chart still said 'vulvodynia' all over it even though it had been years since my last flare. I almost never let them do a pelvic exam unless they had a real good reason. I did have a short flare with her pregnancy which I talk about in length on this post. During that time, I had a check up and I just told the doctors that I was flaring and that I knew they couldn't help. Both doctors nodded their heads in agreement. (I remember clearly sitting in the appointment, telling them I was in pain but I knew how to fix it and I did.) They honestly seemed relieved. They are starting to understand their limitations.

17. The best doctors are those who confess, they just don’t know. So you would assume the best doctors are those who know what’s going on but all knowledge in conventional medicine is based mostly on scientific studies. Anthony William talks in-depth how science has not caught up with these new viruses, so unfortunately, our doctors are in the dark.

a. The best doctor I experienced just told me straight “we just don’t know.” She was older and was a V specialist. After I healed, she told me I was the first person she had seen who has healed from V. (She mentioned that she recently saw a patient who had V for 18 years.) At the end of our appointment, she told me I had to get online and tell women what I had done to heal. So I did.